Safety Tips for Online Dating

With the Internet at our fingertips and communication channels everywhere we look, the day of waiting for "Mr. or Ms. Right" is virtually gone. It’s likely that our grandparent’s generation would find this new concept a difficult one to grasp. Love letters are now written over e-mail, flirting is done via text message and even breakups are done over Facebook (gasp!), but with this change in traditional courtship come the good and the bad.

First, let’s start with the good.

Online dating is one of the fastest growing channels for people to find a mate. In fact, some statistics suggest that this works very well and often results in long-term love. Research from ScienceDaily.com found that 94% of those involved in their study of online daters saw the person they met online again after the first date and on average the relationships lasted 7 months. In fact, 18% made it more than a year. Another shocking statistic reported by Switched.com even went so far as to claim that 1 in 5 people who use dating sites will actually marry someone they met online.

Okay, now for the frightening part.

It’s been estimated that 1 in 10 sex offenders go online to find “dates.”

With all the positive things about online dating, how can you look for the love of your life without putting yourself in danger? This is the most important, if not one of the most challenging, part of online dating. We all want to believe that the person we have been getting to know online is really who they say they are; unfortunately it’s not always the case.

Sometimes these lies may be less harmful (though still deceitful). It’s been said that American men on dating sites lie most about their age, height and income. Women on the other hand tend to be misleading about their weight, physical build and age. But what if someone has a criminal background? Some sites have begun screening members more closely, you can never be too careful.

Here are some basic tips for staying safe when you meet someone from an online dating site.

Stick to the Internal Messaging System provided by the Dating Service
When you are first getting to know someone it’s important that you hold back your personal and contact information. Most online dating services have ways to communicate on the site so you should rely on these rather than exchanging personal e-mail addresses or anything that can be tracked to your whereabouts. This may seem impersonal, but until you have actually met the person on the other end of the messages, you don’t want to give away too much. Never give an exact location of your home or where you work.

Listen to Your Gut Instincts
We all know that pesky little feeling that tells us something isn’t quite right. If the person you are corresponding with is asking you questions that make you feel uncomfortable, this could be your first red flag that something is amiss. Just as you would acknowledge these feelings if you met someone offline, you need to listen to these feelings; often they are your body’s way of telling you to get the heck away from this person.

Take it Slow
Though you may think you have found a great potential partner, don’t rush things. One benefit of online dating is that you get to find out more about the person before you have even met. Typically these “getting to know you” talks happen on a first date and sometimes it can be easy to dismiss things that don’t seem like they are a good fit in your life when you are swept up in the moment and chemistry comes into play. Take the first steps slowly. Get to really know the person well. Perhaps the next step, when you are ready, is to send a photo. Some dating sites already allow you to post a profile photo, but some members prefer to not do this so they can get to know a person without making snap judgments. The other side of this, of course, is that there must be attraction on some level for a couple to be a happy one. Be wary of anyone who doesn’t want to volunteer a photo after you have been communicating. If they are coming up with excuses, this should be a red flag to you. Of course, (insert commonsense), make sure the photos don’t show you at your home, work or anywhere you frequent.

Use Caution for the First Meet-up
Rule number one when meeting a person for the first time: DO NOT go to the person’s house or anyplace that is not public. The last thing you want to do is find yourself in a threatening position with no one there to help you. Restaurants are a great place to meet up for the first time. Also make sure you let a friend or family member know where you are going, the time and the details that would make it easy for you to get help if needed. It’s sad that when we think of meeting someone we are compatible with we need to proceed so cautiously, but it is extremely important to be safe over all else.

If you follow these safety rules and listen above all else to your own inner radar, online dating can be an amazing opportunity to meet someone with whom you can begin a relationship. It is also a wonderful way for those who are too shy to approach someone that catches their eye to communicate in a less intimidating space. Just remember to use caution, move slowly and watch for warning signs and perhaps you can be one of the millions of people who meet their life-long love online.
Emily Murray is a health, fitness and relationship blogger as well as a contributing writer for KwikMed, the company recently appointed by Watson Pharmaceuticals as the exclusive online distribute distributor of the morning after pill called ella.